Listen up, veg-heads — because your soy burger was processed with poison.
A new report from the nonprofit Cornucopia Institute finds that many veggie burgers, meatless chicken patties and soy-based snack bars contain a dangerous neurotoxin called hexane.
But if you’re a vegetarian, why worry? Break out the soy patties and fire up your environmentally friendly dung-powered grill. You’re on the road to sickness and disease anyway, and this will help speed your journey.
The report says food manufacturers bathe soy in this poison to help separate it into oil, protein and fiber. And this chemical can linger right up to the point where you bite into your flavorless, meatless nuggets.
Yum, yum — hungry yet? The hexane itself actually comes from petroleum, so you know it must be tasty and healthy.
The Environmental Protection Agency considers hexane to be a hazardous air pollutant. That’s right — forget eating it, you shouldn’t even inhale the vapors.
It’s so toxic that the Nazis actually injected a related chemical, benzine, into concentration camp victims.
Soy is bad enough for you… it mimics estrogen so well that the body actually thinks it’s getting an extra hormone boost. And believe me, you don’t need it. It’s making women sick and turning men into weepy, boob-growing shemales.
Add hexane to the mix, and you don’t have a meal. You have a death wish.
If you’re really craving a burger, skip the soy and come back to the real thing. You can’t beat it for taste and health, and most vegans know it — even if they won’t admit it.
Why else would they put so much time and effort into trying to recreate it?
I’m not done saving vegans yet — keep reading…
The halfway house for vegans
You may have heard about part-time vegetarians — people who refuse meat some of the time. But once you stop eating meat even part of the time, you risk losing your health all the time.
New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman, author of a vegetarian cookbook, says he’s a vegan… but only before 6 p.m.
Riiiiiight. And I’m celibate, but only when I’m not having sex.
He says his diet helped him lose weight, lower his cholesterol, fix his blood sugar levels, cure his sleep apnea and ease his knee pain.
But those aren’t the benefits of a vegan lifestyle — those are the benefits of weight loss, and you don’t have to risk your health and sanity to get there. A low-carb diet high in animal fats will do the trick for anyone (and if you’re eating right, don’t worry about those cholesterol levels).
Bittman and others like him say they’ve made the part-time move because it’s just too hard to be a vegan all the time.
Think about that for a minute.
It’s not hard because you can’t find the food. After all, you can’t swing a steak in a supermarket without knocking over shelves full of soy. It’s not hard because you can’t eat out… most restaurants kowtow to vegetarians with at least a few token offerings on the menu.
There’s just one reason it’s so hard to be a vegan: It’s completely unnatural and goes against our very nature, not to mention basic human nutrition. Our bodies don’t just crave meat — we need the nutrients, minerals and proteins provided by animal fats.
It’s medically impossible to remain healthy on a vegetarian diet.
Let me repeat that just to irritate the vegans: It’s medically impossible to remain healthy on a vegetarian diet.
I can think of just one situation in which you can safely be a vegan all day and a meat-eater after 6 p.m.: You work the night shift, sleep all day and wake up in time for an evening “breakfast” of bacon, a ham steak and two farm-fresh eggs.
It’s after 6 p.m. somewhere,
William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.
